Feels like Fiction
by Skeptical Mutt
Summary: Set during Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country, a story of exploration of Spock's feelings as he surveys the trial footage of Jim Kirk and Bones McCoy. Not slash, please read and enjoy!


Author's note: this is a story that struck me while I was watching Star Trek: The Undiscovered County. Been watching the movies a lot lately, but until I wrote my story "Earth, Fire, Ice" I didn't really think about certain viewpoints until just now. Not necessary to read that story, it doesn't have much to do with this one (Although this humble author would love if you would read and review both!). Written from Spock's POV about his friendship with Jim Kirk and Bones McCoy. Might be helpful if you have seen the movie, but I will strive to make not necessary to have done so.

Feels like Fiction

I watched the replay of the trial with increasing trepidation as it was shown that the trial was a mere formality. Though judges were supposed to be impartial, it was clear that this judge had made up his mind long before the end of the trial. Although given a lawyer, Jim and McCoy were sentenced to the mines long before the trial had even begun, in my opinion. I sat aboard the Enterprise, quietly observing and struggling to keep my, dare I label it so, anger under check. Vulcans had notorious tempers if roused, and indeed nothing could rouse me easier than a threat to either McCoy or Jim, and if both were threatened at the same time, well it was best perhaps to not cross me until I had recovered my control.

Our ship showed that it had indeed fired, based on the memory banks, but it should have been impossible for that to occur without the bridge crew knowing about it. Thus, something was amiss. The fact that there was a delay in the shots being fired and the recording of the shots being fired in our memory banks made me suspicious. Gorkon had been deliberately killed, that much was certain, but whether the Enterprise had been the weapon of his demise, I could not hazard a guess. There were too many unknowns in the equation.

As I stared at the screen, my concern and worry for my two best friends increased. Their lawyer made logical, sound points that should have convinced the jury that there was insufficient evidence regarding their guilt. It was, although it appeared to be convincing, merely on spatial logic that the shots had been fired from the Enterprise upon Chancellor Gorkon's ship, thus presenting the opportunity to assassinate the Chancellor, and not entirely on sound logic. The area appeared to be from the Enterprise torpedo bays, but it did not feel right.

As I had nothing but my feelings to go on, and I would never admit to McCoy that I was acting on feelings alone right now, I kept quiet and let the mock trial, as I was beginning to think of it, proceed without interference. I could have gone in with the guns blazing, as Jim was fond of doing and telling me about, but it was not the logical, and more importantly, or the duty that I was now under. My duty was with the ship first, or should have been, and my friends later. I felt the pull of duty gripping me to stay out of the matter, to return the Enterprise.

I assumed control of the ship and realized with an unpleasant shock that I could no longer trust those upon the Enterprise. I glanced around the bridge with skepticism, but kept my opinions to myself. There were few upon this ship I trusted, and with Jim and McCoy both taken prisoner that number was quickly dwindling. The remaining few I did trust I knew had the Captain's best interests at heart and would work to free him, although they would be constrained by their emotional reaction, and I knew they would follow me without question. My gaze took in Mister Scott, Checkov, and Uhura as the judge continued his blatantly biased tirade.

I was surprised at the inclusion of Jim's personal logs. I stared at the screen with mild disbelief, wondering how such a private log was found and used by the Klingons. My growing belief was that somebody aboard the Enterprise was involved, one that had clearance and access to the ships computer databases. Besides Mister Scott and the handful of officers, the only people that had access to the computer banks in such a way as to alter them without detection was numbered only in the thirties. Junior officers were now suspect, and my protégé was now under as much suspicion as the other junior officers. I eyed her now, watching how she reacted. Although she was a full Vulcan, she should be easy enough for me to read.

I waited until Jim and McCoy had been sentenced to the Penal Colony of Rura Penthe and the viewscreen to go dark. I was collecting my thoughts, hiding my emotions, and I started with a little bit of surprise when the name 'Rura Penthe" began to echo around the bridge with increasing incredulity from each of the officers. Burying my own feelings for the moment, as much as I could with the image of Jim and McCoy frozen on the viewscreen, I turned in my chair, and moved to stand next to Valeris. "The torpedo hit, once again please." I directed at her, watching very closely. The shots had either come from the Enterprise itself, or from the unidentified surge of radiation that I had detected shortly before the shots had been fired.

I forced the feelings of guilt down, there was no place for them right now, and contemplated the now frozen shot of the torpedo hitting the Chancellor's ship. It was difficult to swallow my emotions, with the echo of Jim agreeing that he as Captain maintained responsibility for all of his crew preying on my mind, as I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt that he was in this situation because I had insisted that he, as virtue of the Captain of the Flagship Vessel of the United Federation of Planets, be the one to escort the Chancellor. With a slight shake of my head I ruthlessly embraced my Vulcan logic and forced my attention back to the task at hand. I felt an almost wild surge of triumph when I heard Mister Scott reporting that all of the weapons had been visually accounted for.

"An ancestor of mine maintained that if you eliminate the possible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be true." The words were out before I could really contemplate saying them. Apparently I was on auto-pilot, still in shock. I ordered a ship wide search, and then retreated for an hour in order to master my feelings. As I knelt in my room, the smell of incense swirling about me, I had a hard time gathering my thoughts and focusing them. My Captain and friend, my friend the Doctor, and the future of peace with the Klingons all depended on me being able to prove that the Enterprise did not fire upon Chancellor Gorkon's ship. Although it was a great amount of stress more than I was used to, I could not let that stop me.

I had to save Jim, had to save McCoy, and although it was shocking to me that the Federation came in third I had to save peace. There was nothing else I could do, other than to hold my dearest friends above the service that had so badly mistreated her officers. And my growing suspicion was that it was indeed Lt. Valeris that had been the one behind the attack. Although it was not logical to act so, it was logical deduction that led me to believe she was involved. And I could not stop the shiver of rage and anger I felt when I entertained this thought with more than just passing fancy. My own protégé, the first Vulcan to be top of her class, was the ultimate betrayal not only to me, but also to all Vulcans.

Although I had not thought of his words in so long, Jim's voice flowed into my head. _"A traitor from a race of traitors. Disloyal to the core."_ I could not argue the point now, even kneeling in contemplation in the silence and solitude of my own room. He had an element of truth to that statement, as much as I didn't like to admit it. I rose to my feet fluidly, well aware that I had not done a satisfactory job of marshaling my emotions. As I left my quarters I hesitated for a moment, my eyes going to the wall behind my desk, where the objects of my friendship with both Jim and McCoy were framed. "I will find you, both of you. I will not stop until I do." I left my room, more convinced than ever that I was the remaining hope of the Federation and more. One could not ask for more, or less, out of a service such as ours. Indeed, the whole situation felt like a story, felt akin to the fiction books that Jim was ever trying to press on me. It feels like fiction to me.


End file.
